We hurt the ones we love the most.

[kohaku]

A recent entry in lotrips_finders reminded me of something I wondered about for quite some time now:

Why is there such a huge demand for stories where our boys get injured or hurt or suffer in any way? Why do readers want to read about it and why do writers feel the need to write about it?

I have seen those stories in all of my fandoms, and except for Deathfic I did read some of them too. I don't mean to judge those stories, I just want to know if there are essays about it. I have read so many good essays on the subject of fan fiction, but haven't found any theories whatsoever on this particular subject.

So. Please help me. Are there essays, or do you have opinions, thoughts? Anything really. :)

Comments

[kohaku1977.livejournal.com]

See? That was my first thought. This whole "pretty when broken" (I actually find the word "broken" itself, the idea behind it sexy in a way without knowing why), "pretty when crying" thing that comes up in a lot of LJs, and on a lot of icons.

That was my first answer too. But I'm not satisfied by that. I want to know why. Especially since I like it myself.

When I made the post I didn't really think about non-con violence vs mutual painpleasure. I tend to the mutual part, since it's not the non-con stuff I'm interested in. However, I have seen posts in communities like lotrips_finder where people actually were looking for non-con. Hurt by a stranger, comfort by a friend.

Both concepts are very fascinating as long as I discuss them theoretically. Whenever I want to cross the line of just talking, and consider it (even if just for a story) I have to say that it's the S/M that interests me most.

So. I hope it's alright if I pass the ball back to you so soon. Since my only reaction so far is "pretty", and I really want to learn and discuss.

[telleer.livejournal.com]

In the h/c genre I think the answer why we like them hurt is obvious: we like them comforted. Throughout my short life I have been hurt far too many times, and I've rarely received the comfort I've needed. So, basically, I like the genre because it makes me feel comforted as well.

When it comes to the s/M scene, things get more complicated. In real life, some of the answers are simple - how your body can actually find pleasure in pain etc etc. Besides that - s/M is about control. The dom, so to speak, has, for once, all the control in the world, while the sub can, for once, truly let go, s/he doesn't *need* to be in control of anything, s/he knows nothing bad will happen, because the dom won't hurt him/her too badly. This, I think, most people find truly liberating.

Apart from that, fanfic writers are just people. They experience a lot in life; everyone does. And when they hurt, it's sometimes *so easy* to take it all out on character that, even when we're talking about RPS, are fictional to us. It's a way of re-living that pain, going through it and looking for peace of mind.

I also enjoy the concept of being "stretched to the limit", like, where the sub is given precisely as much as s/he can take and is then allowed to rest. I think it maybe reminds me of situations where people ask me almost too much - but unlike me, the character I play with gets satisfaction out of the whole thing.

Hmm, so, as you can see, this is mostly me analysing myself =) And since I'm not at my most coherent, it might not make much sense... And I think it shows that I grew up in a family where psychology was a part of the daily diet. :)

As for why they are pretty when they're broken - well...pain is something fundamental, something *real*, isn't it? It is physical in the same sense that sex is physical. I think this is the link between them. Also, say someone has an icon where they're favourite celebrity is bleeding - it also gives us fangirls certain power over them that we would never have in real life.

Hmm. Feel free to disagree on anything!