(no subject)

[kohaku]

For vegetariansushi I'm not sure if you meant something like this, well, I'm pretty sure you didn't but I felt sad and decided that although I wanted it to turn out differently, to play around with it more, it still works. It strikes me as too bitter, but maybe that's just RL seeping in on the edges.


Subtle

a whispered felony
a single word
mumbled, not even spoken clearly
what broke my heart?
not the betrayal you could not hide in your sleep
but the name you let slip off your tongue
so carelessly
that it almost chattered on the floor.

Comments

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

Oh, dude. DUDE. That's not at all what I had in mind, but it's fucking gorgeous. And yeah, maybe it's a little bitter, but then, who in that situation wouldn't be bitter?

though, with RL sneaking in, are you okay? I'm online, like, all the time, should you need to talk. *loves*

[llanowar1977.livejournal.com]

Hey love *huggles*

Subtle is amazing!
The hurt and bitterness you packed in those few words.
Its wonderful in his sadness.

and I'm also here for you if you need me *huggles*